WONDERLAND Cast ALICE JACK/KNAVE OF HEARTS WHITE RABBIT TWEEDLE DEE(Bartles) & TWEEDLE DUM (Jaymes) CATERPILLAR BUTTERFLY CHESHIRE CAT MAD HATTER MARCH HARE DOOR MOUSE QUEEN OF HEARTS KING OF HEARTS (Variable number of people, plus minor characters make up the army of cards = CHORUS) ---------------------------------------------------------------- INTRO: (From black out, house goes to Blue light. Entire cast assembled) LET'S GO CRAZY (Prince) (MAD HATTER) "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate this thing called life. Electric word, life--it means forever, and that's a mighty long time. And I'm here to tell you ... there's something else--WONDERLAND--a world of neverending happiness--you can always see the sun--Day or Night. (End blue light--begin strobe effect in time with the beat of the music.) So when you call up that rabbit in Wonderland You know the one Dr. Everything'll be all right instead of asking him how much of your time is left ask him how much of your mind baby cause in this life things are much harder than in Wonderland in this life your on your own and if de elevator tries to bring you down go crazy punch a higher floor if you don't like the world you're living in take a look around you at least you've got friends You see I called my l'il baby for a friendly word she just picked up the phone dropped it on the floor no, no is all I heard we aren't going to let the elevator bring us down oh no! Let's go! Let's go crazy Lets get nuts Let's look for the only answer until they put us in a truck, let's go! We're all excited But we don't know why Maybe it's cause We're all gonna fly And when we do What's it all for You better live now before the white rabbit comes knocking on your door Tell me are we gonna let the deelevator bring us down Oh no Lets go Lets go crazy Lets get nuts Lets look for the only answer until the put us in a truck, let's go! C'mon on baby Let's get nuts {This is ONE stopping place..the song can be cut to whatever length desireable} [Exit all, as the music fades....except the picnicers {Chorus/Cards} Jack and Alice] [General picnic noise, frisbees, balls, ants--turn focus to Jack and Alice who are seated on a picnic table cloth y'know the red and white checked kind] JACK: C'mon Alice. Everybody else does it and besides if you really loved me----- ALICE: JACK! Love has nothing to do with this, I'm just not ready to take that step. And everybody else is not doing it. Look...Elaine and Tom aren't doing it yet and.... JACK: Awww Alice, loosen up..it's not that big of a deal. I just wanna (breaks into spontaneous song...hand microphone optional) I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND (Beatles) Oh yeah I--- tell you something I hope you'll understand And I'll-- say that something I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand I wanna hold your hand Oh, Please say to me you'll let me be your man And please..say to me..you'll let me hold your hand Aaa- Let me hold your hand I wanna hold your hand.. And when I touch you I feel happy..inside It's such a feeling that my love I can't hide........ {Song goes to whatever stopping point is deemed appropriate} ALICE: NO JACK! I'm just not ready. You just don't understand. (Picks up picnic paraphenalia and throws it at him as she runs off the stage to the left where she runs smack into the White Rabbit) WHITE RABBIT: M'dear.. You must watch where you are going. Oh my look at the time., I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date.. No time to say.. Hello.. Good bye.. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. (Rabbit runs off) ALICE: You're late...late for what? Wait, where are you going? (Looks around at the audience..) Where am I...Oh, dear..was that a rabbit? TWEEDLE DEE: (from the main stage now void of picnic remains) Let's see..large ears, white, and a fluffy white tail. He was either a rabbit or the Stay Puff Marshmellow Man. But wait--never mind him...who are you? ALICE: Who am I? Well, who are you? And who is that? (points at Dum) And where am I? And how did I get here? TWEEDLE DEE: Oh, my you are confused. And you ask far too many questions. Let's see. I don't know who you are. My name is Tweedle Dee and this my brother Tweedle Dum. He doesn't talk much. This is Wonderland. And how should I know how you got here? ALICE: Well, my name is Alice and... I was having a picnic with some of my friends when I got into an argument with my boyfriend Jack...he wanted to hold my hand..... TWEEDLE DEE: He wanted to hold your hand? Well, that doesn't sound so bad... What's wrong with that? (Looks at the audience) Don't you think she should hold his hand? (He and Dum slowly put on Blues Brother's shades...hand microphones optional) EVERYBODY NEEDS SOMEBODY (Blues Brothers) We're so glad to see so many of you lovely people here tonight. And we would especially like to welcome all of the representatives of Washington University's greek community who have chosen to join us here in the South Forty Wonderland at this time. We do sincerely hope that you all enjoy the show and please remember people that no matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive there are still some things that make us all the same...You (points at Alice) me.. them.. everybody...everybody.. Everybody---needs somebody Everybody---needs somebody--to love Someone to love--someone to love Sweet happiness--Sweet happiness sugar to kiss--sugar to kiss Jack needs you ..you...you Alice...you ... you.. you Alice...you...you... you... hands for holding You... you... you... you.... {Again the song can be whatever length desired} [As the song fades out, Alice exits right. She has been appalled since the line "sugar to kiss". ] [Fade lights on main and left satellite stage. Lights up on the right satellite stage. Here is a tree which is plastered with "This way" "That Way" "Yonder" "No this way" "To" and "From" signs. None of which points in the same direction. In the tree, only slightly visible, sits the Cheshire Cat] JACK: Alice---Alice--- Where are you? Where could she have gone. (Jaws Theme Music and a loud beep) Voice of the Cheshire Cat: Hi. You have reached the Cheshire Cat. I'm not in right now, but if you want to leave your name and number after the beep, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you. BEEP. {As Jack is looking around the Cheshire Cat pops into view} CHESHIRE CAT: Lose something? JACK: (startled) Why, no. I lost someone. Her name is Alice. She ran this way... Have you seen her? CHESHIRE CAT: Maybe I have and maybe I haven't. What does she look like? JACK: Well, she's about this high...She has brown hair and blue eyes, and she's wearing a blue dress... CHESHIRE CAT: A blue dress you say? JACK: Yes. CHESHIRE CAT: Brown hair? and blue eyes? JACK: Yes, yes. Have you seen her? CHESHIRE CAT: And you say she was in a hurry? JACK: You have seen her! Which way did she go? CHESHIRE CAT: Well which way did you say she went? JACK: That's what I am asking you!!! CHESHIRE CAT: Well, she could have gone this way...{Gestures at the trees signs}...or that way or perhaps she ran over there...I really don't know. Why did you say she was running away from you? JACK: We had a fight, you see I wanted...oh, why am I telling you all this? She's getting away...could you just tell me which way she went? CHESHIRE CAT: Well, why are you asking me? I haven't seen her. JACK: WHAT!? Well, why didn't you say so? Oh I'll never find her..... {Rushes off muttering at the stupidity of the cat who is chuckling in satisfaction.} [Jack exits out the back door as the lights come up on the right satellite stage and fade on the left] (Alice rushes up breathlessly to a chaise lounge and mushrooms which are home to the Caterpillar) CATERPILLAR: Hey, what's your hurry babe? Life's short. Take a break. What's your problem? ALICE: (Fast) Well, I ran away from this picnic because Jack wanted to hold my hand and then I ran into this rabbit and these two strange men couldn't tell me how I got here but they seem to think that I should hold Jack's hand and.. and.. Everybody seems to think that I should be holding hands with Jack.... CATERPILLAR: (interrupting) Take it down a notch. Just Chiiilllll...... You're taking life much too seriously. ALICE: Well, why shouldn't I? Everyone seems to think I should be holding hands with Jack and..I ...I just don't think I am ready to hold anyone's hand...... CATERPILLAR: Whoa...sounds like Cupid ain't been kind to you. Had a bad trip by the sounds of it... ALICE: (who is off in dreamland) What? Oh yes, someone broke my heart and now I'm afraid to let Jack hold my hand. What if it happens all over again? CATERPILLAR: Hey, have a little faith... you need to relax. Here, take one. {Hands her a dish of cookies with a large sign reading "Take One" attached to it} {Alice takes one, examines it...} ALICE: Thank you, I was getting a bit hungry... CATERPILLAR: (mutters) This is cookies.... Alice begins to act strangely and begins to recite nonsense such as nursrey rhymes, Cat in the Hat, Cyndi Lauper songs... CATERPILLAR: (To the audience) This is your brain on cookies, any questions?..(watches her a bit) Oh my, we can't have this. I've never seen anyone react so strangely to chocolate chip cookies. Wait...no wonder..I forgot the milk. {Produces a container of milk with the label "Drink me" on it} CATERPILLAR: Here babe...have some milk. Alice takes the bottle absentmindedly, looks through the "Drink me tag and drinks the milk. She is immediately relaxed...very relaxed, but continues to recite nonsense. While she babbles the Caterpillar slips out of view and as the music builds the Butterfly ascends to sing to the relaxed Alice. I'll Never Fall in Love Again Carpenters What do you get when you fall in love a guy with a pin to burst your bubble That's what you get for all your trouble You'll never fall in love again You'll never fall in love again What do you get when you kiss a guy You get enough germs to catch pneumonia After you do, he'll never phone you You'll never fall in love again You'll never fall in love again Don't tell me what it's all about Cause you've been there and you're glad you're out Out of those chains, those chains that bind you That is why I am here to remind you What do you get when you fall in love You get enough tears to fill an ocean That's what you get for your devotion You'll never fall in love again..... You'll never fall in love again. ALICE: (Still relaxed) Well, it isn't all that bad...maybe it I could hold his hand...if I could find him...Oh dear, I don't think I know how to get out of here....{turning to the Butterfly} How do I get out of Wonderland? BUTTERFLY: I've never known anyone who wanted to leave Wonderland. I suppose if anyone would know, it would be the Mad Hatter. ALICE: Well, how do I find him? BUTTERFLY: {Points toward the main stage} He's having his unbirthday party over that way. {Lights come up on the main stage, Alice turns and walks toward the Unbirthday party which is set up. Around the table sit the Mad Hatter, the Door Mouse {who is sleeping in his tea and crumpets}, and the March Hare. The March Hare and the Mad Hatter are engaged in a riddle exchange. Occasionally, the Door Mouse might stir to add a punchline etc...They ignore Alice's presence} {Examples only cast should ad lib, add on, and add to this section} MAD HATTER: What do you get if you take the "L" out of Salami? MARCH HARE: I don't know what do you get if you take the "L" out of salami? MAD HATTER: A Sammy! {ba dump ba} [Both break gales of laughter, the Mad Hatter declares that he wants a clean cup and the three move to the next three seats at the table] MARCH HARE: Ooo. I got one. What do you call a good football player at Washington University? {Pauses} An opponent! [Both break gales of laughter, the Mad Hatter states he wants a clean cup, wakes the Door Mouse and they all to the next three seats at the table at the end of each riddle...these three don't care if they're funny or not] MARCH HARE: {Sitting on Alice who is in the seat the Mad Hatter wants to occupy for his clean cup} Did you hear about the... ALICE: [breaking in] Excuse me, but are you the Mad Hatter? The Caterpillar said that you could help me get out of Wonderland. MAD HATTER: Well, you're very rude. Who invited you to sit down? Can't you see there isn't enough room for you and that the three of us are very busy? ALICE: The three of you? (Looks at the sleeping Door Mouse) {March Hare goes over and shakes the Door Mouses' chair...no response. } MARCH HARE: Looks like he's out again. {Mad Hatter goes over and picks the Door Mouses head up by the ears...leans over and yells in his ear.} MAD HATTER: Hey...Wake up. You're ruining my unbirthday party. We're suppposed to sing. DOOR MOUSE: Sing? I can't sing. Who wants to sing anyway? Suddenly mass hysteria breaks out...Jack runs across the stage with the deck of cards chasing him from all directions. The tea party is upset. Jack is yelling at Alice. Alice is yelling at Jack and amidst the confusion there is a blackout. When the lights come up Alice is in the midst of a white rose garden which double as the courtroom...two cards are painting the roses red. ALICE: What have you done with my boyfriend?! CARD # 1: Your boyfriend. What would we want with your boyfriend? CARD # 2: Do go away. If the Queen sees us painting these roses, she'll know that we planted white ones instead of red ones and she'll have us shuffled for sure. FANFARE music and the two cards hastily pick up their equipment and rush out the back door. The White Rabbit opens the door ceremoniously, unrolls a scroll and announces... WHITE RABBIT: Announcing...her majesty the Queen of Hearts. Here to preside over the trial of Jack, the Knave of Hearts who stole her tarts.... Oh, and her husband...the king. More fanfare [The Queen marches in and assumes her throne, the King sits on a footstool at her side. The jury is set up on the right satellite stage. The March Hare, Door Mouse, (sleeping), Mad Hatter, Tweedle Dee, and Dum enter and take their places in the jury. The cards march in-- in formation with Jack in their midst. He is pushed to the floor in front of the Queen. Alice is jostled around as the various cast members enter. Upon seeing Jack she rushes to him, only to be held back by the cards.] ALICE: [marching up to the Queen] Stole the tarts? What are you talking about? Jack wouldn't.....(The cards drag her back, the Queen ignores her) QUEEN: Mr. Hatter. What is the jury's verdict? KING: But consider my dear....there...there....hasn't been any trial yet. QUEEN: Sit down! KING: Yes dear. (The Mad Hatter rises to deliver the verdict) MAD HATTER: Your majesty, we the jury find.... JACK: Wait, you haven't given me a fair trial. You can't sentence me without proof, witnesses or even a motive. Why you don't even know who I am. I'm not a knave. Alice! You tell them. KING: (quietly) He's right you know dear... QUEEN: Quiet! Nobody asked you. KING: Yes dear. Help me Rhonda Beach Boys Well since you turned me down I been out searching Wonderland We went out for a picnic and I wanted to hold your hand Alice you look so fine And I know it wouldn't take much time for you to Help me Alice, Help me get out of this jam Help me Alice, Help Help me Alice, Help me Alice {etc.} {Cards do the back up} Help me Alice...Yea-- Get me out of this jam I was dreaming for a while that I could really be your man But you let little fight come between us well it shattered ourplans Well Alice you caught my eye And I could give you lots of reasons why you gotta Help me Alice--Help me get out of this jam CHORUS (Everyone except the Queen is dancing as Jack sings) As the second chorus finishes off the Queen interrupts QUEEN: If you are quite through. I am ready to announce my decision. KING: But dear perhaps we should listen to what Alice has to say. QUEEN: SILENCE! I have a verdict. [Expectant Silence] QUEEN: Off with his head. {Jack begins to struggle} ALICE: Wait, isn't there anyway to save him? KING: Yes dear, remember the ancient law. QUEEN: (Considers it)..Well, in Wonderland your innocence can be proven only if there is someone willing to hold the hands with the accused. Anyone? {Silence...The butterfly dramatically bumps Alice toward Jack. Finally everyoneis staring at Alice} ALICE: Well, I guess I could do it. I mean I was going to tell him that I was almost ready anyway and.... SHOUT [MAD HATTER:] Welllll... You know you make me wanna (shout) kick my heels up (shout) Throw my hands up (shout) Throw my head back (shout) Come on now (shout) now don't forget to say you will Don't forget to say yea yea yea Say you will Say it right now baby Say you will C'mon C'mon Say you will Say that you... (say you will) [JACK] Say that you love me Say that you need me Say that you wanna You wanna please me (Say) C'mon now (Say) C'mon now (Say) C'mon now (Say)I still remember..shooby do wop When you used to be shy and cold Shooby do wop I was a fool for you from the bottom of my soul (yea--) and now that your here y'know y'know y'know You wanna be with me You wanna let me know [ALICE] I want you to know I say I want you to know right now You been good to me baby Better than I been to myself (hey, hey) And if you ever leave me I don't want nobody else (hey hey) I said I want you to know I said I want you to know right now You know you make me wanna shout Yea Yea (Continue song til the end with the MAD HATTER taking the lead, entire cast joining in and encouraging the audience to participate.) {Black Out} After the curtain call.... TWEEDLE DUM: And we thank you for your support {Black Out}